FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

by Starving Student / 05/16/2012 at 11:42pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

by Queen_Dread / 05/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

by -insert clever nickname here- / 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

by anon / 04/28/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

by blocked_by_fire / 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

by uhhh what? / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

by bdogge99 / 04/02/2012 at 1:59am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, on my way to my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he doesn't have to drive me in anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

by ramis182 / 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work