Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

#17701558
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (1796)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:51am - misc - by Mark - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22840) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13573) - you deserved it (25734)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (7352)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

#17602503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (2950)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (3440)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML

#17511750
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30039) - you deserved it (4175)

On 08/18/2011 at 5:41pm - health - by AmySweet - United States (Washington)

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

#17500092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31550) - you deserved it (4530)

On 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by santasadiekins - United States (Washington)

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (14650)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36416) - you deserved it (2668)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

#17358704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34971) - you deserved it (2156)

On 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by localbarista (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34744) - you deserved it (3781)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27029) - you deserved it (9502)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: