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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

#17990354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (3953)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38803) - you deserved it (7947)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (2065)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (5585)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (6407)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that the ancient looking coin I dug up in my front yard is worth hundreds of dollars. Too bad I found that coin when I was eight years old, and have since misplaced it. FML

#17786535
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (6425)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:07am - money - by Ugh - United States (Washington)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58684) - you deserved it (5801)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16378) - you deserved it (33524)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

#17701558
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (1802)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:51am - misc - by Mark - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (3023)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (25765)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37532) - you deserved it (7523)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)



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