Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7670) - you deserved it (110332)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

#16980502
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (7357)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

#16945838
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10121) - you deserved it (42647)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

#16925056
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11967) - you deserved it (33218)

On 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Nell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

#16876528
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (12372)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

#16854499
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34366) - you deserved it (4877)

On 06/25/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by pod (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got officially uninvited to a party. This is the third one this month. FML

#16741320
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (7759)

On 06/19/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML

#16740090
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (5071)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

#16645871
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40287) - you deserved it (8930)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:04pm - animals - by rileynautumn - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

#16643815
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (3369)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by Uhh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

#16642702
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39467) - you deserved it (4815)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by suze44 - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

#16619951
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42869) - you deserved it (6208)

On 06/12/2011 at 12:21am - love - by daddylove - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: