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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30769) - you deserved it (24091)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

#18798244
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25242) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/13/2012 at 6:56pm - love - by Sad.To.Be.Me. (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18726) - you deserved it (33594)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (4333)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

#18559487
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6860) - you deserved it (33084)

On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (7432)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

#18504719
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25217) - you deserved it (3145)

On 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm - work - by thathottchickk - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

#18458873
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30047) - you deserved it (3737)

On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

#18449998
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (9427)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23373) - you deserved it (2997)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

#18242720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm - health - by mintypoison (woman) - United States (Washington)



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