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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (14034)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36195) - you deserved it (2656)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

#17358704
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by localbarista (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (3655)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (9478)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (4966)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

#17247420
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2289)

On 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by allycat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML

#17242973
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you deserved it (5077)

On 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (2734)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (7589)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36284) - you deserved it (3542)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31938) - you deserved it (5181)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51238) - you deserved it (5606)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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