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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML

#16740090
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (5061)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

#16645871
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (8887)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:04pm - animals - by rileynautumn - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

#16643815
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (3359)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by Uhh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

#16642702
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39308) - you deserved it (4802)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by suze44 - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

#16619951
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (6194)

On 06/12/2011 at 12:21am - love - by daddylove - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (51757)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that since I stopped shaving my legs, my boyfriend and his friends have started referring to me as a Wookiee. FML

#16374893
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12196) - you deserved it (57751)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:57pm - misc - by FMLer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

#16354230
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (21709)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML

#16313288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (2346)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:12pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (2429)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML

#16117533
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (32940)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:24pm - work - by scruffy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

#16080976
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (4337)

On 05/07/2011 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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