Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (3650)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (9470)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (4879)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

#17247420
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (2283)

On 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by allycat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML

#17242973
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35074) - you deserved it (5061)

On 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (2682)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (7575)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (3481)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31845) - you deserved it (5177)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51090) - you deserved it (5596)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7307) - you deserved it (108093)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

#16980502
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (7311)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

#16945838
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9868) - you deserved it (41971)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: