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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12509) - you deserved it (23798)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34295) - you deserved it (7077)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

#17602503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2797)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML

#17511750
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (3994)

On 08/18/2011 at 5:41pm - health - by AmySweet - United States (Washington)

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

#17500092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (4292)

On 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by santasadiekins - United States (Washington)

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (13989)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (2645)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

#17358704
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (2077)

On 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by localbarista (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (3649)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (9465)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (4875)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

#17247420
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26990) - you deserved it (2283)

On 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by allycat (woman) - United States (Washington)



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