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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

#18123104
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (4884)

On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40012) - you deserved it (10587)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

#17990354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35914) - you deserved it (7537)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (2439)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33090) - you deserved it (5355)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (6094)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that the ancient looking coin I dug up in my front yard is worth hundreds of dollars. Too bad I found that coin when I was eight years old, and have since misplaced it. FML

#17786535
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (6083)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:07am - money - by Ugh - United States (Washington)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55680) - you deserved it (5494)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (31307)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

#17701558
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26132) - you deserved it (1780)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:51am - misc - by Mark - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)



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