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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today , I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay , I jokingly said , "Well , that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said , "No thanks then." FML

#19549742
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (13143)

On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)

Today , I rear ended a cophile talking on mah cell phone. FML

#19541631
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7256) - you deserved it (82482)

On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

2DAY WHILE I WAS IN THE MIDST OF THE MOST MIND-BLOWING SHOWER SEX EVER, THE FIRE ALARM WENT OFF. MY GIRLFRIEND HAD LEFT THE STOVE TOP ON AN THE ENTIRE KITCHEN HAD CAUGHT ON FIRE. SO INSTEAD OF FINISHING, I FRANTICALLY RAN AROUND NAKED TRYING TO DOUSE THE FLAMES. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27037) - you deserved it (3859)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parent told me that I will grow looool up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this cuz I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (4949)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, I actually usd Febreze as a substitute 4 deodorant. FML

#19416021
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7994) - you deserved it (23994)

On 04/06/2012 at 3:24am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

today I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7272) - you deserved it (25231)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the dentist. During mah check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (2588)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

2day on my way to my terapist, my fater told me to lie to er and tell er tat I'm appy so e doesn't ave to drive me in anymore . FML

#19380667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (1974)

On 03/31/2012 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

2day mah 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

#19363269
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (10365)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (4193)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, I had to re-grade a student's assignments cuz neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (3596)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today , I gave mah husband an expensive watch!! The first words out of his mouth were , "You didn't use our joint bank account for this , right?" He then asked if I still had the reciept!! FML

#19309374
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (4956)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today hile I was cuddling with mah girlfriend she looked at me an leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss she screamed "COW KISSES" an somehow managed to lick mah eyeball. FML

#19297004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (4445)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)



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