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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (4935)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

#19416021
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7850) - you deserved it (23690)

On 04/06/2012 at 3:24am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7223) - you deserved it (25108)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (2482)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

Today, on my way to my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he doesn't have to drive me in anymore. FML

#19380667
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (1965)

On 03/31/2012 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

#19363269
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (10319)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22063) - you deserved it (4047)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (3585)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (4823)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26589) - you deserved it (4423)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (6918)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
595 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (52970)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

#19182487
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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