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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

#19182487
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (2813)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

#19182040
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (2364)

On 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML

#19079229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (1795)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:28pm - kids - by MC Turtledick - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

#19053682
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (1735)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:02am - work - by That_guy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

#19001319
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/05/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by CaityLovesBo - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (6143)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (5670)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML

#18960811
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (1999)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:45pm - work - by hastobeajoke (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (4411)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (25264)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (23162)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

#18798244
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23311) - you deserved it (3892)

On 01/13/2012 at 6:56pm - love - by Sad.To.Be.Me. (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (31246)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)



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