Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27832) - you deserved it (4248)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

#19790589
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (2217)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by Rose (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (4644)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

#19761767
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6327) - you deserved it (52219)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (34261)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

#19635056
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (24199)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:42pm - money - by Starving Student - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (1948)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

#19571944
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (1582)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

#19549742
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (13088)

On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

#19541631
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6946) - you deserved it (80635)

On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (3843)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: