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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (4642)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

#19761767
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6321) - you deserved it (52205)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17803) - you deserved it (34252)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

#19635056
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7800) - you deserved it (24184)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:42pm - money - by Starving Student - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19794) - you deserved it (1947)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

#19571944
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17578) - you deserved it (1580)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

#19549742
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18630) - you deserved it (12947)

On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

#19541631
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6940) - you deserved it (80609)

On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (3842)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (4930)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

#19416021
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7639) - you deserved it (23158)

On 04/06/2012 at 3:24am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (25083)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)



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