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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

#21462126
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15594) - you deserved it (1346)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:13pm - work - by thegrandchawhee - United States (Washington)

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

#21455147
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27526) - you deserved it (2400)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

#21453297
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (10119)

On 08/07/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by godzilllla - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

#21445231
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (1471)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:02pm - work - by geek (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

#21439124
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27689) - you deserved it (1662)

On 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm - health - by gerbilmaster (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

#21436862
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21525) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (3768)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (4278)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (2243)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (6691)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

#21421168
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (2119)

On 06/05/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by Dig4life - United States (Washington)



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