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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

#19535515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7285) - you deserved it (24883)

On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

#19523754
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25365) - you deserved it (2239)

On 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm - love - by nofrickenway - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

#19521815
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6669) - you deserved it (24636)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by monkeycannon7 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (2523)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

#19344485
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (6625)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Mark Allan (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

#19341181
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17847) - you deserved it (2196)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21954) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (4027)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

#19252817
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7230) - you deserved it (63350)

On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

#19240450
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24602) - you deserved it (6608)

On 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm - misc - by shelly - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spat up blood and had horrible chest pain. My mom still made me go to school, claiming she needed to take the cat to the vet instead of me to the doctor. FML

#19234186
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29235) - you deserved it (1962)

On 03/07/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Hungrytoothbrush (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

#19227249
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11884) - you deserved it (19272)

On 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm - love - by Tommy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

#19099040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (5197)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:43am - kids - by thatoneperson - United States (Virginia)



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