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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

#19240450
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (6329)

On 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm - misc - by shelly - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spat up blood and had horrible chest pain. My mom still made me go to school, claiming she needed to take the cat to the vet instead of me to the doctor. FML

#19234186
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (1798)

On 03/07/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Hungrytoothbrush (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

#19227249
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11175) - you deserved it (18391)

On 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm - love - by Tommy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

#19099040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (5038)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:43am - kids - by thatoneperson - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

#19070641
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (11178)

On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

#18899137
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (2566)

On 01/24/2012 at 2:50pm - love - by sickandtiredofit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49530) - you deserved it (4220)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (7716)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

#18631063
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (322)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:23am - love - by foreveralonecatlady (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (3285)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (3303)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (2669)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (15574)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)



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