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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

#20117850
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (3519)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:10am - kids - by Reihna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (55043)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

#20117136
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (7661)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by amiliaroberts123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

#20099296
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (1438)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17361) - you deserved it (5052)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17034) - you deserved it (26262)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20870) - you deserved it (8823)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (1597)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (4110)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (3724)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32991) - you deserved it (10259)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)



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