FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I got a call from my cable company in regards to a bill I didn't pay. I paid the bill two weeks ago in full, but they never told me the account changed when my name was put on the account. So now I owe $170 more, and my ex-roommate is getting a $140 refund in the mail. FML

by broke bitch / 06/23/2015 at 12:15am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, my friends decided to throw a going away party because I'm moving. It would have been great if I had actually been invited. FML

by rcarn / 06/12/2015 at 10:25am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

by NoMoreTacoBell / 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

by MdMan2 / 06/03/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML

by PrinceOfBritain / 05/13/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

by JustSom / 05/04/2015 at 10:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

by umyuck / 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

by someoneneedsassistance / 04/24/2015 at 11:07am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

by pandapantsMD / 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 8:23am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

by ironfey / 03/20/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

by anon / 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Health