Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14129) - you deserved it (1286)
On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7221) - you deserved it (18488)
On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (1888)
On 07/02/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (8205)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9772) - you deserved it (15637)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20368) - you deserved it (3782)
On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (29920)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (3279)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20742) - you deserved it (2101)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18171) - you deserved it (2897)
On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5449) - you deserved it (16855)
On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (1466)
On 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm - love - by nofrickenway - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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