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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63483) - you deserved it (24337)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39871) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

#5393
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (8816)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by JD (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (1397)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17779) - you deserved it (4272)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML

#3730
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (7650)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:19am - money - by Banker - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (3328)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

#2336
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8328) - you deserved it (49087)

On 01/23/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by sadgirl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

#2281
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (10771)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5490) - you deserved it (30979)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (3801)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep in English and drooled on my test. Evidently everyone noticed. FML

#1218
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5943) - you deserved it (15708)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Erin - United States (Virginia)

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

#1108
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16440) - you deserved it (3737)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Hungry - United States (Virginia)



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