Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55313) - you deserved it (14419)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

#163929
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62979) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155404) - you deserved it (13872)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
46 comments

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (61478)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

#138466
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52980) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by MADfml - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

#135663
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (35169)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "so when are you getting that nose job?" FML

#134540
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40612) - you deserved it (6046)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, in art class we finally had the critique for the self portraits we've been working on for a month. We critique a few and come to mine. Everyone is silent. Finally, one girl says "I'm just going to be blunt. It doesn't look like you. You're not that pretty." Everyone nods. FML

#132596
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60114) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by mylifeeee - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

#122918
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72108) - you deserved it (5829)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62725) - you deserved it (7149)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

#113556
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (50979)

On 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

#112701
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33404) - you deserved it (37958)

On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: