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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65413) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (2854)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

#24019
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44643) - you deserved it (7547)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

#22681
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31749) - you deserved it (5222)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85465) - you deserved it (4498)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear ending the person in front of me. FML

#19361
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5262) - you deserved it (44032)

On 02/09/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by prettyinpurple - United States (Virginia)

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (23168)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (2938)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

#11698
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16570) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Lizz (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent my best friend Mike the link to a porn site we were talking about at a party. Turns out the name "Mom" is right next to "Mike" in my contacts list. FML

#9718
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12293) - you deserved it (44808)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:39am - intimacy - by menerethrr - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56861) - you deserved it (20112)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (1650)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)



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