Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15486) - you deserved it (115607)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came back to my appartment to find that I couldn't watch certain channels on my tv. When I called the tv company I found out my parents had put a 'parental block' on all my favorite channels. Im 22 and rent an appartment with my friends. FML

#417086
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90185) - you deserved it (7106)

On 03/17/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81996) - you deserved it (6779)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

#322289
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (76061)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (126125)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (65246)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63373) - you deserved it (21367)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML

#274093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72286) - you deserved it (4896)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:46pm - love - by cdick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

#250263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88251) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54154) - you deserved it (3950)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML

#241205
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57407) - you deserved it (9140)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#224033
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49572) - you deserved it (6707)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (77069)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: