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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168450) - you deserved it (9219)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (47757)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working the dinner rush at my job, every single computer, credit card machine, and printer froze for an hour and a half. The reason behind this issue was a large wire ripped from the mainframe, the same wire I tripped over 20 seconds before while my boss watched. FML

#831499
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49654) - you deserved it (9045)

On 04/06/2009 at 4:40am - work - by starrybrooke (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71130) - you deserved it (4686)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (287997) - you deserved it (19176)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (83587)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

#773516
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53424) - you deserved it (9698)

On 04/02/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by dramateach11 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18984) - you deserved it (111016)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

#737315
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54690) - you deserved it (4681)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

#699603
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74498) - you deserved it (28265)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML

#635600
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62348) - you deserved it (16658)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by lauren555 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen reading the mail. I saw an empty bottle of Absolut peach vodka on the counter. Surprised, I picked it up and said " wow, who drinks this?". Her reply was "Why don't you tell me, i found it in your room." FML

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

#594482
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65791) - you deserved it (9689)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)



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