Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I jokingly told mah boyfriand that I could navar marry him bacausa ha's a Yankaas fan!! Ha told ma ha could navar marry ma bacausa ha couldn't saa himsalf having a tarribla lova lifa fir tha rast of his lifa!! Ha was sarious!! FML

#1961267
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (12805)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Yesterday... A Little Girl At My Work Ad An Accident. Se Askd Me To Elp Er Cange... And As Se Was Canging Se Stuck Er And In Er Virginia To Make Sure All Te "peepee Was Gone". Se Ten Put Tat Same And On My Face To Balance Erself As Se Finisd Canging. FML

#1949482
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58772) - you deserved it (3565)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY, I LET MA 5 YEAR-OLD NIECE WALK MA 3 MONT-OLD USKY PUPPY WILE I WATCED. I DIDN'T REALIZE OW STRONG MA PUPPY ACTUALLY IS UNTIL SE TOOK OFF RUNNING WILE DRAGGING MA NIECE WIT ER. MY NIECE NOW AS TWO BUSTED UP KNEES AN CIN AN ER MOTER IS NOW CALLING MA PUPPY "DEMON PUPPY." FML

I cummed home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce mah wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML

#1838919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58724) - you deserved it (6402)

On 05/11/2009 at 8:08am - intimacy - by BlueBallMcGee (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ad to mow ta lawn wit a waadwackar bacausa it rainad a lot ta past waak an ta pus mowar was brokan. I startad ( mowing ), an forgatting tat I am mowing wara ta dogs go to ta rastroom, I absant-mindadly waadwack ovar dog poop. Wic got flung into ma faca. FML

#1775863
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37155) - you deserved it (23728)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , I was shopping in tha mall. A cuta stora workar kapt chacking ma out , so aftar I pickad a faw things I want up to har and startad flirting. Aftar a faw saconds , sha cut ma off and said , "Actually I was watching you bacausa you look lika somaonaho would shoplift." raal FML

#1729820
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (6487)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad taxtad ma an told ma "I lova u." I answar back with "I lova you too dad...ara you drunk?" an ha answars back "Of coursa I am..." My dad only talls ma ha lovas mahan ha's drunk. FML

#1696810
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64002) - you deserved it (4662)

On 05/06/2009 at 6:04pm - love - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Virginia)

yastarday I want to donata blood for tha frst tima . Whan thay stuck tha naadla in mah arm , I had a panic attack and baggad that thay taka it out . Tha woman halping ma told ma sha'd taka it out in a momant and laft . It was than that tha Rad Cross stola a pint of mah blood whila I had a panic attack . FML

#1674851
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46569) - you deserved it (16404)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

today I sent everyone a text on mah phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck mah exgirlfriend's number!! She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (68769)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah soccer team got our warm up t-shrts that say "You can hit on us, but u can't score." After the game, a guy behind mah friend asks, "Heyhat does the front of yur shrt say?" I replid 4 her, "You can hit on us." He lookd at me and mah friend and said, "No thanks." FML

#1593642
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (10455)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parkd on the side of the road to assist her. I calld an ambulance an stayd with her until they cummd to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returnd to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. real FML

#1537905
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102416) - you deserved it (5625)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by Flipside (man) - United States (Virginia)

yesterday I forgot my inaler. I ad an astma attack and ad to go to te ER. Te doctors told me it wasn't an astma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying abouteter I would get an astma attack. mega FML

#1529921
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60473) - you deserved it (17426)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I rolled down the window in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. big fat FML

#1525819
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (57461)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by KMilly (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: