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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97756) - you deserved it (4665)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so i said "yeah that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

#919776
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (39127)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by AlienZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

#892613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (78299)

On 04/09/2009 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92027) - you deserved it (27461)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168138) - you deserved it (9208)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (47740)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working the dinner rush at my job, every single computer, credit card machine, and printer froze for an hour and a half. The reason behind this issue was a large wire ripped from the mainframe, the same wire I tripped over 20 seconds before while my boss watched. FML

#831499
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49607) - you deserved it (9038)

On 04/06/2009 at 4:40am - work - by starrybrooke (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71079) - you deserved it (4685)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (286755) - you deserved it (19153)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (83546)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

#773516
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53393) - you deserved it (9694)

On 04/02/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by dramateach11 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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