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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (280315) - you deserved it (19029)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (83335)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

#773516
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53207) - you deserved it (9675)

On 04/02/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by dramateach11 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18391) - you deserved it (108990)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

#737315
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53830) - you deserved it (4624)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

#699603
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74191) - you deserved it (28189)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML

#635600
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62151) - you deserved it (16615)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by lauren555 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen reading the mail. I saw an empty bottle of Absolut peach vodka on the counter. Surprised, I picked it up and said " wow, who drinks this?". Her reply was "Why don't you tell me, i found it in your room." FML

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

#594482
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65548) - you deserved it (9668)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

#592595
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97958) - you deserved it (25788)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

#584648
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44119) - you deserved it (24038)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

#516140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69595) - you deserved it (6181)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by motherdearest (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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