Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (101185)
On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (55186)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56094) - you deserved it (17181)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62916) - you deserved it (3797)
On 03/11/2009 at 4:46pm - love - by cdick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78173) - you deserved it (2318)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (3234)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50981) - you deserved it (8327)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42883) - you deserved it (5542)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (66084)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6127) - you deserved it (72288)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62957) - you deserved it (16301)
On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8169) - you deserved it (32811)
On 03/02/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47133) - you deserved it (11845)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
