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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

#2372451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51025) - you deserved it (2988)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my most difficult task at work was three hole punching a 500 page document so somebody could put it in a binder on their shelf and not read it. I have a $150,000 education. FML

#2326583
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45731) - you deserved it (7134)

On 05/26/2009 at 10:19pm - work - by bagpipesrkmywrld (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

#2311636
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13252) - you deserved it (104211)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

#2291155
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (41584)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

#2237527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16827) - you deserved it (52212)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by duhitskelly94 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

#2187594
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65506) - you deserved it (24002)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

#2144492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (14621)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

#1961267
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40656) - you deserved it (12314)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56832) - you deserved it (3383)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML

#1838919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58434) - you deserved it (6383)

On 05/11/2009 at 8:08am - intimacy - by BlueBallMcGee (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

#1775863
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (23635)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

#1729820
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42101) - you deserved it (6400)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)



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