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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (31736)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

#5919547
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37630) - you deserved it (22475)

On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML

#5897487
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43593) - you deserved it (2784)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:37pm - love - by Alyssa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

#5858048
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15567) - you deserved it (3672)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

#5847643
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (5660)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by rugernut13 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

#5841442
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12667) - you deserved it (24774)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

#5793907
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (6116)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

#5744040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (3295)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Charon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML

#5715718
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (7154)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got offered a ride to go home for the weekend. I go to college six hours away from home and haven't seen my family for almost two months. When I called my mom with the good news, she told me not to come. FML

#5611182
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32092) - you deserved it (2097)

On 10/02/2009 at 9:01pm - misc - by wowjuststop - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42621) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

#5465384
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35096) - you deserved it (6262)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:11pm - work - by UnemployedGrad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

#5359755
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (2577)

On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)



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