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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32339) - you deserved it (36623)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42499) - you deserved it (3597)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

#11977098
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42533) - you deserved it (5965)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41744) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

#11515790
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (47500)

On 06/28/2010 at 9:28am - work - by ladyhavery - United States (Virginia)

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (51784)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (67935)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

#10884107
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (3901)

On 05/31/2010 at 11:43am - health - by twnty1 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

#10870072
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (10753)

On 05/30/2010 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by lonelyandbored - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." FML

#10541725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (17015)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Teaching26 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (10070)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a dinner along with my own. Mine took a little longer to cook, so they ate before me and went back to her bedroom. I ate alone to the sound of them having fun. FML

#9361174
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (4448)

On 03/24/2010 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by lonelyniceguy (man) - United States (Virginia)



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