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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML

#6242295
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (5203)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by ughhhh (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML

#6209512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (2329)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML

#6190811
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (2023)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:36am - money - by Tipless (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

#6147856
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (2074)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by burned (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML

#6101041
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (2781)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

#6092612
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (1798)

On 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

#6029729
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (28756)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Kailey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at ATandT getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

#5998375
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31776) - you deserved it (1776)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm - love - by LTJFP (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11697) - you deserved it (30350)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9633) - you deserved it (31704)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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