Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7338) - you deserved it (29509)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26088) - you deserved it (2394)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

#7552135
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53811) - you deserved it (2120)

On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62989) - you deserved it (6224)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

#7418364
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you deserved it (2506)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:05pm - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4609) - you deserved it (72698)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (5147)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML

#7226236
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (2331)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:45pm - misc - by SingleWorker (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (8472)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18643) - you deserved it (6496)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: