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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

#13722404
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (4162)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

#13715674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (2449)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by traumatized4life (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

#13219092
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (12607)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11141) - you deserved it (34866)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML

#12983300
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5635) - you deserved it (45114)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

#12887247
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30520) - you deserved it (5499)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by Fmylife.25 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

#12870608
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (1986)

On 09/02/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by whatthewoah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (7754)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32303) - you deserved it (3631)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (34593)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (3280)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

#11977098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (5802)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)



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