Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5599) - you deserved it (16972)
On 11/23/2009 at 9:30pm - love - by pigglepigglepiggle (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (2868)
On 11/21/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (4303)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19990) - you deserved it (14335)
On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - animals - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (4195)
On 11/10/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by ughhhh (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (230)
On 11/08/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (1675)
On 11/07/2009 at 12:36am - money - by Tipless (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (2027)
On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (203)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by burned (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (1937)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25690) - you deserved it (1265)
On 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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