Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17102) - you deserved it (4720)
On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16384) - you deserved it (3407)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16622) - you deserved it (2691)
On 02/10/2010 at 9:32am - kids - by Mers (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (1979)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)
Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (1842)
On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7191) - you deserved it (27777)
On 02/08/2010 at 10:19am - misc - by skinsfan7592 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (4636)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15267) - you deserved it (7757)
On 02/06/2010 at 12:12am - love - by snowman (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14507) - you deserved it (6426)
On 02/05/2010 at 10:19pm - health - by Henry (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (1365)
On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (2336)
On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5222) - you deserved it (21062)
On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (1725)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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