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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

#19227249
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13172) - you deserved it (20957)

On 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm - love - by Tommy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

#19099040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (5208)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:43am - kids - by thatoneperson - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

#19070641
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (11952)

On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

#18899137
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37718) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/24/2012 at 2:50pm - love - by sickandtiredofit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54053) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (8007)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

#18631063
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32088) - you deserved it (2582)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:23am - love - by foreveralonecatlady (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (3364)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (3441)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (2816)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43103) - you deserved it (17323)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (3479)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16446) - you deserved it (32784)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)



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