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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

#20048535
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8675) - you deserved it (25981)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm - misc - by nolife - United States (Virginia)

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (2136)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10203) - you deserved it (29810)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

#19879190
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (2904)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26035) - you deserved it (11987)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13237) - you deserved it (23747)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (2857)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (5404)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7368) - you deserved it (36937)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (4898)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (3003)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

#19536517
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (4210)

On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

#19535515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (26125)

On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)



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