Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (3754)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36802) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

#17845404
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (16806)

On 09/27/2011 at 2:22am - love - by dilligaf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML

#17834355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30510) - you deserved it (2716)

On 09/25/2011 at 9:57pm - work - by Chan - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (2806)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally landed a new job, and thinking he would be proud, I told my boyfriend. Instead of congratulating me, he got mad that my work hours include Saturday, his laundry day. FML

#17586315
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (3854)

On 08/26/2011 at 2:26pm - love - by shampoogirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (3061)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

#17577670
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (2470)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

#17520336
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (2453)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:59pm - misc - by bandit99999 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

#17468026
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (2615)

On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML

#17451356
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (4293)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: