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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today.. . my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me . I'm a massage/physical therapist an treat clients.. . mostly athletes.. . in my home . My neighbours saw the steady stream of young.. . buff guys coming to my house an concluded that I'm a gay prostitute . fat FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (2643)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

yesterday I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I calld my brother over to take a look . He said "Hmm, wonder how fast u can run." then hurld a rock at the nest an sprintd back to the house . I wasn't so fast . I now feel lyk someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus . FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (3391)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom told me how lucky I looool was to inherit her ( asymptomatic ) periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (2508)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was home alonehen I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, an waited outside 4 3 hours 4 my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

#21315834
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (6714)

On 12/11/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah mother has issud a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

#21313942
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (3916)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today , I woka up with a swollan lump on my throat . It's axtramaly painful . My looool dad namad it Gratchan and now talks about it as if it's a parson . FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (2389)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Dalatd A Load Of Junk That Was Massing Up Mothar's Computar . I Don't Know How I'm Going To Tall Har I Accidantally Wipd Out All Of Har Wadding Photos . FML

#21310063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21374) - you deserved it (26924)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:02pm - misc - by not living happily ever after - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a good mood 4 once and mah professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what u ate 4 breakfast but your really annoying today." FML

#21305482
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (3226)

On 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Decidd To Check Out A Dating Site,hen I Stumbld Across Mah Ex Wife's Profile. She'd Had It 4 Four Out Of The Five Years Of Our Marriage. And No, It Didn't Rate Us As A Good Match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, Mah Parent Gave Me Fat Burner Pills Fir Mah Brthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32909) - you deserved it (5024)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today I was woken up by ma dog toucing ma foot so I trid to pus it away. Ten I realizd tat I'd kickd ma girlfriend in te face. FML

#21282367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34777) - you deserved it (7261)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a nurse askd my relationsip status. I answerd, "Marrid". Se ten askd if tere was any possibility of me being pregnant. I ardly containd my snort, before responding, "No, u ave to ave sex for tat." I'm not sureat's worse, te fact tat it's true or er laugter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38498) - you deserved it (5032)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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