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Today.. . my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me . I'm a massage/physical therapist an treat clients.. . mostly athletes.. . in my home . My neighbours saw the steady stream of young.. . buff guys coming to my house an concluded that I'm a gay prostitute . fat FML
yesterday I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I calld my brother over to take a look . He said "Hmm, wonder how fast u can run." then hurld a rock at the nest an sprintd back to the house . I wasn't so fast . I now feel lyk someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus . FML
Today, my mom told me how lucky I looool was to inherit her ( asymptomatic ) periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I was home alonehen I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, an waited outside 4 3 hours 4 my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML
Today, a nurse askd my relationsip status. I answerd, "Marrid". Se ten askd if tere was any possibility of me being pregnant. I ardly containd my snort, before responding, "No, u ave to ave sex for tat." I'm not sureat's worse, te fact tat it's true or er laugter. FML
Friday 27 March 2015