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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37027) - you deserved it (4760)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42418) - you deserved it (3379)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44010) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw the hottest nurse ever. Too bad he was pulling out a piece of wax the size of a raisin from my blocked ear. FML

#21154073
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41500) - you deserved it (7616)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:23pm - health - by idk - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

#21153696
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38642) - you deserved it (6999)

On 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by seriously? - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46857) - you deserved it (5520)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

#21126684
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (4424)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anon (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39657) - you deserved it (4899)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (10221)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36611) - you deserved it (5945)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

#21087397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34369) - you deserved it (3574)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by nerdlette (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49005) - you deserved it (5602)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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