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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42788) - you deserved it (2914)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (3828)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41712) - you deserved it (10731)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36180) - you deserved it (4898)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (10969)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (2634)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31871) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37914) - you deserved it (6052)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (3840)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (3342)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29757) - you deserved it (4019)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

#20509033
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (3426)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by howannoying - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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