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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45537) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37690) - you deserved it (2379)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2602)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (7409)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (4016)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (1714)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (3040)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (7963)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (27640)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (5035)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (2915)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (1573)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (5302)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)



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