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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

#20727924
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50759) - you deserved it (4633)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60270) - you deserved it (5424)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34785) - you deserved it (71582)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (33383)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (9735)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my landlord emailed me, stating that she hasn't been receiving my rent. After some investigation, I found out she's been using the money to buy booze, and hasn't been putting it into the house owner's account. FML

#20694810
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45992) - you deserved it (2540)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:51am - money - by BrokeAsHell (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42737) - you deserved it (2914)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (3825)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (10722)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (4842)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32519) - you deserved it (10960)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (2630)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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