Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

#5681273
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (8639)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

#5618437
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (3495)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:20am - intimacy - by lauz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML

#5616852
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (2356)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by ColdFoot (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

#5600521
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31055) - you deserved it (10167)

On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML

#5543779
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (4990)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by arghh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you deserved it (44025)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

#5410581
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54575) - you deserved it (6345)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML

#5389483
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50955) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/21/2009 at 5:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

#5368590
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33316) - you deserved it (6210)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53773) - you deserved it (3620)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11533) - you deserved it (80506)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: