FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

by misunderstood / 09/05/2010 at 6:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

by fmlskank93 / 09/01/2010 at 7:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

by blinkanimgone / 09/01/2010 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

by missyoudad. / 08/31/2010 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

by nottelling7012 / 08/29/2010 at 12:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

by Sara1990 / 08/23/2010 at 7:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

by ktin / 08/19/2010 at 8:02am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

by stuck / 08/11/2010 at 8:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

by dimtsis / 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

by earths_venus / 07/24/2010 at 3:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

by Emily / 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

by embarrassed / 07/03/2010 at 3:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous