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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

#5368590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (5997)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52449) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11420) - you deserved it (80101)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

#5224177
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41281) - you deserved it (23204)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - love - by sunburychick (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

#5203639
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39642) - you deserved it (4914)

On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

#5163445
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6655) - you deserved it (32627)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

#4853130
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (3364)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:53am - money - by smoothcoffee (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34587) - you deserved it (10857)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8835) - you deserved it (53282)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56398) - you deserved it (3048)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

#4594322
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (47465)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43192) - you deserved it (6751)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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