FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

by beforegirl / 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

by Telinaa / 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

by monogamous / 10/28/2010 at 5:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

by failure / 10/13/2010 at 2:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

by hairyarms / 10/10/2010 at 8:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2010 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

by notyouagain / 10/03/2010 at 3:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

by rawr101 / 10/02/2010 at 2:25am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

by T. / 09/30/2010 at 10:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 5:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Health