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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (3289)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33862) - you deserved it (2887)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (1924)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (2000)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (5284)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

#21321340
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (7362)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (4115)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (2671)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (4032)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (9172)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (9376)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (4444)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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