FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

by Zyopy / 12/18/2015 at 3:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 6:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

by unemployed-dude / 12/08/2015 at 1:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my sister accused me of "leading on" her creepy best friend and said I should apologize to him for making him think he was going to get lucky. I haven't talked to the guy in over 5 years, except for one random encounter 2 days ago, where all I said was, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

by lisa / 11/29/2015 at 11:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to carry a 25kg bag of cement to an elderly customer's car because she refused to use a cart. "You're paid to work, so I'm gonna make you work." FML

by I hate retail / 11/26/2015 at 9:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, one of my friends thought it would be funny to tell my psycho clinger of an ex that I still like her. It had only been a few months since she finally stopped stalking me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2015 at 3:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was coming home from work and saw an old couple overwhelmed by the number of people at the train station. It was peak hour and I decided to help them. As I went up to them, they said, "Get away, go mug someone else". FML

by qwerki4 / 10/28/2015 at 3:29pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

by Hank-T4 / 10/11/2015 at 7:45am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

by Lord Kane of Flatulon / 10/06/2015 at 7:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out. And then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

by Luke / 09/10/2015 at 1:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

by philip708 / 08/27/2015 at 2:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

by blow me / 08/07/2015 at 12:36pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health