FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I actually had to reassure the girl I'm seeing that she can't "catch" my epilepsy. FML

by the fuck? / 03/05/2016 at 4:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 2:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

by abnormallyadam / 02/09/2016 at 8:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, a woman yelled at me for hurting her. I'm a tattoo artist. FML

by thrill house / 01/24/2016 at 7:57pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I went to visit a suburb that was named after my family. Within five minutes of walking around I was mugged and then beat up. My family name has certainly done well for itself. FML

by heckaza / 01/19/2016 at 1:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML

by Brayden / 01/09/2016 at 10:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML

by First World Problems / 01/08/2016 at 9:34am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

by Zyopy / 12/18/2015 at 3:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 6:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

by unemployed-dude / 12/08/2015 at 1:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my sister accused me of "leading on" her creepy best friend and said I should apologize to him for making him think he was going to get lucky. I haven't talked to the guy in over 5 years, except for one random encounter 2 days ago, where all I said was, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

by lisa / 11/29/2015 at 11:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous