FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

by pleasestop / 06/11/2011 at 4:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 8:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2011 at 5:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

by ugly / 04/15/2011 at 2:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2011 at 6:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

by Nerrh / 03/12/2011 at 5:53am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I had my friends help me put on a suit of full plate armor for a medieval re-enactment. After the battle, my friends left. I can't get the armor off by myself and will probably have to sleep in it. FML

by hurley / 02/27/2011 at 5:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 7:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

by Gem / 02/11/2011 at 5:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2011 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

by MissCommunicate / 02/05/2011 at 10:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

by anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 7:41am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health