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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (8563)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML

#14494919
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/07/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by carrottop - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (3438)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

#14317962
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (11899)

On 12/24/2010 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

#14267236
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (2969)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:29am - work - by promoted (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took out my ear cartilage piercing. With my comb. FML

#14233403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30372) - you deserved it (9779)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

#14021574
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (6277)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:13am - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (15133)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

#13822248
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (9256)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45619) - you deserved it (8730)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (2899)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

#13624123
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59264) - you deserved it (4635)

On 10/28/2010 at 5:26am - love - by monogamous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (5783)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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