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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54706) - you deserved it (4290)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (2265)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

#12834464
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (2589)

On 08/31/2010 at 3:54am - misc - by missyoudad. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

#12797067
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (3972)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

#12698820
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (6360)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:40am - love - by Sara1990 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

#12622132
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35473) - you deserved it (4545)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by ktin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

#12450514
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you deserved it (2505)

On 08/11/2010 at 8:01am - work - by stuck (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

#12173397
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31580) - you deserved it (3853)

On 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm - health - by dimtsis (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

#11636469
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (2731)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm - misc - by Emily - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

#11629383
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17961) - you deserved it (43055)

On 07/03/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

#10817967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8640) - you deserved it (22651)

On 05/28/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by gahdamnit - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML

#10719065
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48158) - you deserved it (3494)

On 05/23/2010 at 8:22pm - misc - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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