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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (2485)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

#8740298
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18544) - you deserved it (3480)

On 03/01/2010 at 1:43am - love - by duckwater (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

#8683563
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (3709)

On 02/27/2010 at 5:15am - misc - by livvlynette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML

#8547021
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (1683)

On 02/22/2010 at 5:13am - misc - by OMFG (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (2501)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (2091)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (3706)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (5160)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (2636)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27658) - you deserved it (2335)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

#7885768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22104) - you deserved it (4851)

On 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by MafiaWarsWidow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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