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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

#17965886
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (5328)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by ItaliczZz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

#17938205
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13752) - you deserved it (25647)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (3420)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

#17757588
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (1868)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Help - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got kicked off the train because I refused to stand for an old lady who wanted to sit down. There was an empty seat right next to me. FML

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (28121)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML

#17679338
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7490) - you deserved it (50853)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:17am - misc - by ss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38127) - you deserved it (2866)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8093) - you deserved it (69646)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

#17395246
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (5580)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:52am - kids - by myheart75 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33055) - you deserved it (16601)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML

#17201345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (4207)

On 07/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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