Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10310) - you deserved it (34268)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (3279)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

#17757588
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (1706)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Help - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got kicked off the train because I refused to stand for an old lady who wanted to sit down. There was an empty seat right next to me. FML

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (27745)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML

#17679338
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6654) - you deserved it (47696)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:17am - misc - by ss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (65745)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

#17395246
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (5351)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:52am - kids - by myheart75 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (15799)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML

#17201345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (4010)

On 07/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

#17036042
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (6848)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: