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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (3308)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (2627)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (3343)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (5209)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

#21384499
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (11037)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:27pm - money - by post it - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (2321)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30983) - you deserved it (3489)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#21376702
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (8334)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by non-baker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (5910)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32651) - you deserved it (3257)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (2592)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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