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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Vermont

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

#17211324 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (35860) - you deserved it (2984)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:23am - love - by bridetobe (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

#17068940 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (19511) - you deserved it (16794)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

#16817769 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (7385) - you deserved it (29981)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:56pm - health - by run4fun (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (14404)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

#15143494 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (25666)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (13975)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

#14461663 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (1926)

On 01/04/2011 at 9:49am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

#12715856 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (4799)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

#11864546 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (19811)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by No.Life. - United States (Vermont)

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

#9097225 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (4872)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:11am - love - by MrsRockyHorror (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (11399) - you deserved it (3610)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

#8899793 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (1601)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by space_cadet90818 (woman) - United States (Vermont)