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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Utrecht

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

#19612935 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (1439) - you deserved it (4813)

On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (742)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

#18775728 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (34190) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by feellikevomiting (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (31283) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML

#18182006 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (21085) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/07/2011 at 4:38am - misc - by Isoldael - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

#17744412 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (1618)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:50pm - work - by kareltje (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband, who's a recovering alcoholic, and I are on holiday with our kids. He's decided he can have a few drinks because he deserves "a holiday too". He doesn't see why this should ruin ours. FML

#17610887 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (18711) - you deserved it (1750)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:17am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Utrecht)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML

#17165263 (400)

I agree, your life sucks (50090) - you deserved it (4086)

On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (8688)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

#15366725 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (5342) - you deserved it (47621)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

#14948054 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (3231)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I wanted to send a birthday card. I kindly asked my boss for an envelope, and she asked me to pay for it. I've been working for her as an intern for over a year now, without receiving any money for it. FML

#14140329 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (17900) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

#13497431 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (2303)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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