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FMLs submitted from Utah

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51307) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

#7390812
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (8543)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:37am - work - by mikey09 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

#7336661
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35924) - you deserved it (2812)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Lost (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. These kids started to fight and scream at each other. I leaned next to her and said, "Man am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML

#6813571
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7568) - you deserved it (28629)

On 12/18/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Sardine (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (4172)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

#6598965
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (31038)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm - animals - by oops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (7798)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping FML

#6377384
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:25am - love - by sadday (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

#6268866
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (2931)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:14am - work - by FML (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML

#6118642
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8380) - you deserved it (34705)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my best friend and I both applied for the same job. I was applying because my family is REALLY tight on cash, and I need the money. He applied because I told him about the job and we thought it would be fun working together. He was hired on the spot. I was denied the job. FML

#6096905
47 comments

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30456) - you deserved it (6016)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)



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