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FMLs submitted from Utah

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

#14813410
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (6818)

On 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by jessica - United States (Utah)

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (5508)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

#14109694
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (4578)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:50pm - animals - by Addicted2FML303 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went over to my mother-in-law's house to have dinner. I was excited she invited me, since I thought she didn't like me. I ended up hanging her Christmas lights in a snowstorm while they had s'mores by the fire. FML

#13943289
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (3670)

On 11/22/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by heronlydaughter (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

#13614592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32653) - you deserved it (3052)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:19pm - love - by just_friends (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33643) - you deserved it (2994)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28270) - you deserved it (3530)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML

#13260698
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10546) - you deserved it (32717)

On 09/30/2010 at 5:56am - intimacy - by ohyaknow (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, and every day, a homeless looking man walks into my work, sits down and stares. I'm new to the job so, trying to make new friends, when the guy walked in this time, I went over to a co worker I was really clicking with, and went off about how creepy he was. He replied with "Who, my dad?" FML

#13260317
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (28595)

On 09/30/2010 at 4:19am - work - by simply2010 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

#12577034
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36988) - you deserved it (4421)

On 08/17/2010 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

#12411056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (2338)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Scabs (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41036) - you deserved it (2852)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)



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