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FMLs submitted from Utah

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

#20009342
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5814) - you deserved it (43806)

On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

#19994550
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18477) - you deserved it (2024)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

#19980789
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10458) - you deserved it (19856)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:10am - animals - by screw the cat (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (3334)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (2275)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (18071)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (3317)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (3897)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

#19007314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (3846)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (4226)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML

#18028466
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (1614)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

#17988590
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31902) - you deserved it (2665)

On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)



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