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FMLs submitted from Utah

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (44819)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (2655)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (14521)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41718) - you deserved it (7446)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (6231)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (5878)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41285) - you deserved it (3763)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
203 comments

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49461) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86167) - you deserved it (6177)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40191) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39239) - you deserved it (3403)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38839) - you deserved it (4383)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)



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