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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

#21038740
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36334) - you deserved it (5962)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm - misc - by DJ (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

#21038657
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (3949)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by PangolinScholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49040) - you deserved it (10022)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

#21030662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39668) - you deserved it (8312)

On 01/17/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by dylanhollis - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (16734)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (4134)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my auto insurance company to try to get some discounts and lower my rate. I ended up adding $30 to my monthly payment. FML

#21021391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37426) - you deserved it (13015)

On 01/08/2014 at 2:03pm - money - by Can2 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44422) - you deserved it (5330)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML

#21005460
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (4442)

On 12/25/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by princesss_14 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47203) - you deserved it (3481)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)



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