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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML

#1200256
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63179) - you deserved it (4712)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line for my hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jack ass and was saying how people like him give us a bad reputation on the beach. I then see him running to his choking daughter. FML

#1123133
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11445) - you deserved it (79661)

On 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by howembarrasing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68294) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML

#1067181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11072) - you deserved it (72442)

On 04/17/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by grampsisgay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML

#1010703
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9775) - you deserved it (62244)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by imnotcool (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15600) - you deserved it (73196)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

#942012
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52225) - you deserved it (3271)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by fatface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62908) - you deserved it (11603)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

#907158
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41329) - you deserved it (9113)

On 04/10/2009 at 8:37pm - kids - by Bob (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (44990)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63281) - you deserved it (14112)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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