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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60933) - you deserved it (21074)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14347) - you deserved it (60324)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9946) - you deserved it (52182)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

#93676
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81057) - you deserved it (7353)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I got home from school I went to my room to find the maid had cleaned it, also to find a bag labeled "trash" it was all the sketches and paintings I had done in art class, which is my major plan for college. FML

#90322
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42596) - you deserved it (3939)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by Photos - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50958) - you deserved it (20850)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56653) - you deserved it (4751)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

#59071
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (26446)

On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

#34306
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (7703)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (29390)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

#20879
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (2345)

On 02/10/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by Flavorite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23496) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15640) - you deserved it (47660)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)



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