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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

#2777
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (24225)

On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

#2565
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (7138)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (1873)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

#2226
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6129) - you deserved it (22574)

On 01/22/2009 at 4:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

#1633
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16232) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:50pm - animals - by dirtyfoot - United States (Texas)

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

#1517
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (1870)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

#896
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8782) - you deserved it (21012)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (1567)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22788) - you deserved it (5139)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

#80
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71514) - you deserved it (4810)

On 10/27/2008 at 5:08am - love - by damnit - United States (Texas)



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