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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16181) - you deserved it (44825)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63054) - you deserved it (14075)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16187) - you deserved it (171253)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went and got a spray on tan. I forgot to push the hair cap up. A few hours later, I was completely tan, except for the top half of my forehead was pasty white. It will last for five days. FML

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

#774654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10124) - you deserved it (83605)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:12pm - work - by Zak (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (57573)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML

#718521
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12457) - you deserved it (65094)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by apenglishstudent (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

#695731
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52694) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:39am - work - by Blah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52277) - you deserved it (9537)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137562) - you deserved it (6206)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

#654050
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60524) - you deserved it (6610)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

#641288
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55348) - you deserved it (11683)

On 03/27/2009 at 10:47am - work - by mjohnston (man) - United States (Texas)



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