Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

#774654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10080) - you deserved it (83489)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:12pm - work - by Zak (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (57516)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML

#718521
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (65046)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by apenglishstudent (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

#695731
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52613) - you deserved it (5738)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:39am - work - by Blah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52065) - you deserved it (9512)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136975) - you deserved it (6190)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

#654050
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59980) - you deserved it (6558)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

#641288
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55286) - you deserved it (11664)

On 03/27/2009 at 10:47am - work - by mjohnston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML

#619804
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58907) - you deserved it (9307)

On 03/26/2009 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while". It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML

#593767
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71829) - you deserved it (4402)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by regiftee (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61001) - you deserved it (6526)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145866) - you deserved it (7093)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: